1. Know and understand the generation of the person you’re talking to.
If you’re willing to acknowledge and respect the generational differences. That in itself helps a younger person gain respect for you.
For example, maybe you stayed with the same company your entire life. That’s not nearly as common anymore.
It’s important to respect that things have changed. If you haven’t interviewed in 20 years, things might look a little different from the last time you interviewed.
2. The art of listening.
When you’re a mentor you want to give, give, give and tell them everything you know. But you need to make sure you’re answering the questions they actually have instead of just giving your mentee unsolicited advice.
Think through what they’re saying and how it will help them, and not you. Be willing to add in a holistic perspective, and not just give your opinion.
Also, if it’s a question that relates to a variety of options, give them those options — don’t just say “Well, this is what I would do.”
Has a mentor made an impact in your life?
3. Be honest.
If you don’t know an answer, be honest. Staying within your realm of expertise is crucial to maintaining credibility. Share the things you know to be true, and be clear on sourcing your information.
Is this from your own experience and perspective? Did you hear it from a speaker at a conference or read it in an article? If so, have you seen it play out in life the way it was conveyed to you?
I like to remind people in mentorship roles to humanize themselves. Show vulnerability. Talk about mistakes you made in the past — and share what you learned.
Students have a tendency to think that they are the only ones that make mistakes. The more you can share about trials and tribulations, the more they can connect your experiences to the journey we all travel.
Additionally, share things you observe about the student if you know it will help them grow professionally. For example, do they say “um” every other word when talking with you? Do they have other visible nervous tendencies? If so, bring it to their attention (in a tactful, kind way) and provide them with resources that will help them grow professionally in this area.
This can be a delicate space, but chances are the student is unaware. You can help bridge the gap.
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4. Don’t overcommit yourself.
Most people love sharing stories and experiences, but you need to balance it with your other life responsibilities.
Don’t sign up for more than you can handle when it comes to providing thoughtful, high quality conversations — it isn’t fair to you, or your mentees.
If you’re signing up for an official mentoring program with a college or school, know the expectations ahead of time and stay within the boundaries of the program.
True mentorships tend to take on an organic form, and those established connections can grow beyond the program if the interest is there.
5. Make connections.
Part of why we mentor is to give back to those coming after us. Established professionals often have high-powered networks that can really help students.
Of course, it’s polite to check with the new party first to make sure they have time, but if you know someone that works for a company the student is interested in, connect them! It can help the student — and it can also help you if the reference works out well.
One caveat: Be confident in your references and recommendations. It can come back to haunt you if you haven’t put the time and effort into getting to know the person first.
Brooke Linn (EDU’04) is the director of learning and talent development at the Purdue Research Foundation.